


The Hero and the Fairy

by LibrarySocks



Series: Bratva-verse [2]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: AU, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Referenced OtaYuri, Referenced violence, mafia, may add more tags later, not edited, referenced victuuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2021-01-25 02:08:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21348508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LibrarySocks/pseuds/LibrarySocks
Summary: Phichit tries to talk Otabek out of calling in a favor for some personal time with Yuri
Relationships: Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky
Series: Bratva-verse [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1538998
Comments: 1
Kudos: 41





	The Hero and the Fairy

**Author's Note:**

> Some referenced torture here, very light, and explicit language. This is a one-shot set in the same universe as Bratva

“You cannot fuck the Russian Fairy. You can’t. And I am going to give you FIVE good reasons why.” 

It’s not like Phichit doesn’t like the company, it’s nice not being stuck in the surveillance van all alone, but this is not the kind of problem solving that’s his forte. Give him a computer to hack or a house to bug and he’s your guy, talk you out of getting yourself whacked because you want to get your dick wet… not so much. 

“Number one. He’s a fucking psycho, and he’s just as likely to murder you as he is to fuck you,” he says, holding up one finger. 

Otabek remains impassive, Phichit isn’t sure he has more than three faces ranging from stoic to murderous. It’s unsettling. 

“Number two, it may seem like there’s no love lost between the Fairy and the boss, but he **will** string you up if you touch a hair on his head, and you **will** regret ever looking twice in that direction, if you live to tell the tale.” 

Otabek leans back against the interior of the van, crossing his arms over his chest. His face might be saying this isn’t anything he hasn’t thought of, or it might be saying he’s thinking of fun ways to dismember Phichit. One never knows. 

“Number three, that cute little dancer side piece the boss has right now? Seems harmless, right? Real quiet? Almost sweet? He’s fucking not. He asked me to bug the boss’s apartment last week, I’m going to repeat that, because it’s insane, and I’m still processing it, so I’m going to give you a sec, too.” Phichit knows that most of the guys find him to be rather dramatic, but really, this isn’t him exaggerating, this is really one of the most ridiculous things he’d ever heard, before Otabek came in and blew Yuuri’s little snit out of the water, that is.

“The little shit came in here and demanded that I bug the boss’s apartment, so that he could make sure he wasn’t _cheating on him_. Of course he’s fucking cheating on him, is he high? Anyway, I went and told Christophe, because I like my balls right where they are, thanks, and I got the word from up top to go ahead and do it. They’re kinky or some shit. I digress.” 

Otabek’s eyebrows raise in agreement, and Phicit rolls his eyes. 

“The dancer’s got a thing for the kid. He makes him lunch, thinks he’s cute when he throws things, bought him a hoodie with cat ears, it’s a whole thing. You think the boss will fuck you up if he finds out? You don’t know what’s coming for you if the dancer _tells_ boss to fuck you up. You’d wish you were dead. He’s got him wrapped around his little finger right now, and the safest place for all of us is far the fuck away.” 

Still no response from Otabek, which isn’t completely unsurprising. Phichit once walked in on him cutting off a mans toes and he’d had the same look on his face as he did at Sunday dinner. Sociopath. 

“FOUR!” Phichit holds up a fourth finger, before spinning back around in his seat to check on the cameras, “you worked too hard for too long to get where you are to throw it away for a piece of ass.” Phichit holds up his hands in surrender when Otabek stands, “not that he’s just some piece of ass, calm down, I’m just saying… there’s plenty of fish in the sea that won’t fucking eat you.” 

Otabek leans back against the wall, but his eyebrows are definitely telling Phichit he’s on thin ice. 

“And finally, five,” Phichit holds his hand up, palm facing Otabek, “what makes you think the Fairy wants shit to do with you? He’s got a harem of prostitutes at his beck and call, you really think you got shit he wants?” 

At this Otabek smirks, and Phichit resists the urge to facepalm. 

He’d just wanted to pay for grad school when Christophe had found him, and recruited him for one job hacking into a bank. He moved some zeros around, turned some cash into Bitcoin, and called it a day. But then they asked if he couldn’t do with a bit _more_ money, and he was hacking some politicians webcam and then the next day the guy is resigning on the news. Before he knew it, he was in too deep to get out. But really, who could turn down this kind of money, anyway? Who’d want to. Except now Otabek was in his van asking him to turn the cameras off for an hour so he could fuck the Fairy and he was questioning all of his life choices. 

“Look, you kill him while I’ve got the cameras off they’ll come for my family, then they come for me, and when they do, don’t think I’m not gonna start naming off your sisters names and addresses. If I go down, you’re going down with me. And yeah, I know about your sisters, you should tell them that they have wonderfully _**public**_ social media presences. You think you stash ‘em out of the country they can’t get to them, you’re wrong. So you think real hard if this is the favor you want to call in.” 

Otabek looks like he might actually murder him now, and Phichit knew it was a calculated risk bringing up the girls, but sometimes mututally assured destruction is the only way to get through to these idiot mafia types. 

“You can keep the camera on, but you wipe the footage,” Otabek offers. “That way, you know he’s safe, and if anything happens, you got his back. But Victor sees none of it.” 

Phichit leans back, considering. It could work, if all they’re really up to is a little sexy fun time then it wouldn’t put him at too much risk. It’s not like he hasn’t seen half the outfit in some stage of a happy ending at this point, he’s not a prude. There’s no room for modesty and delicate sensibilities when your boss is paranoid enough to bug anyone who’s ever been within ten yards of him. He gets paid enough not to comment, though. 

He sighs, leaning back in his chair, popping a lollipop from his candy jar in his mouth. 

“Say I do that, we square then?” 

“Three times… you turn a blind eye three times, then we’re square.”

“And will these rendezvous be… scheduled?” 

“No. But it’ll be at his place, if that makes it easier.” 

“Uh huh, and how do you know I even have cameras in the Fairy’s place? That’s a bold assumption.”

“Because I’m not an idiot?” 

Phichit sucks the candy thoughtfully, considering his options. He’d like to not owe one to Otabek anymore, he’s never been one for having debts hanging over him, but… But Victor really will kill or at least maim him if he finds out that Phichit helped Otabek screw his little cousin. The kid might be technically an adult, but he’s the baby of the family, and they work hard to keep the little monster as sheltered as they can. No way would they want a captain ‘dating’ him, if that’s even what this is. 

“Twice. You can fuck the Fairy in the comfort of his own home two times, and,” Phichit holds up his lolipop to stop Otabek from interrupting him, “and I’ll keep an ear to the ground to see if anyone’s on to you **and**... and I’ll help you find a little love nest of your own, if Victor or the Fairy don’t kill you first.” 

Otabek considers for a moment, eyeing Phichit warily, before nodding. 

“Damn, you’ve got it bad, huh?” 

Otabek snorts, already heading towards the door. 

“Ah, you don’t call, you don’t write, you get what you want and you abandon me… you wound me!” 

Otabek flips him off before heading back out onto the snowy Russian street.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why I really like these characters as hardened criminals. I really like the idea of sweet little Phichit using all of his social media/computer knowledge to make a quick buck, especially. 
> 
> This is part of an effort to write and publish a fic everyday in the month of November. As such, this is unedited and without a beta. I apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors. I think I might add a few more one-shots here, and hopefully do some actual world building next month, if people keep reading. 
> 
> As always, thanks for letting me play in your sandbox! I love this fandom and these characters so much!


End file.
